Hallelujah

Apparently if you want to get people’s attention just quote Leonard Cohen. I have a facebook account, I use it mainly for yoga promotion but I do keep up with friends and play a lot of Scrabble as well but the main thing is the yoga. So a while back I promised myself that I would post nothing negative in my status updates, only uplifting, yoga related or positive one liners to the virtual world. So yesterday was a hard day, in fact it been a hard few days but it was a struggle I need to go through because I learned some pretty amazing lessons. And yesterday I was wading through a sea of emotions after a serious heart to heart I found myself staring at my facebook page. There was so much inside of me that I wanted to express but I could find a way to say that didn’t seem like self pity or a desperate cry for attention and then Hallelujah came on. And after weeping my way through the entire song I thought about the line “love is not a victory march, it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah…” and that was it, that was exactly what I felt like. I think love is amazing, I think loving someone as a lover or friend or family is a wonderful way to feel love but that’s not the kind of love I had to express yesterday. The kind of love of I had to express was the kind for love you find while searching blindly at the end of a dark tunnel and looking for the light. It’s the kind of love I found way down at the bottom of myself when all the other pieces felt broken. It’s the kind of love you find when you ask for forgiveness and compassion. When the whole world feels like its falling in on you but you can sit among the rubble love that rubble because it is all the pieces of you. The cold and broken Hallelujah to me it the tattered rope that I use to pull myself up with, it is hope. Like a lotus flower growing from the muck it is like reaching out into all that is broken and touching the divine.