Morning Quickie: I Forgot How To Teach

Right now my son is on the floor, cooing contentedly, exploring his toes and his ultra plush blanket; baby neurons exploding with joy. And I’m at the table in extreme pain and searching google for some magical technique I’ve never tried to unclog milk ducts. The guilt I feel for not being down there with him is almost as painful as my swollen breast, I can feel the tears starting to build up behind my eyes.

There is so much to motherhood that is painful. So much. And so very much we pile up on ourselves. This guilt that is turning over in my gut it entirely self imposed. My son is happy, believe me he’d let me know if he wasn’t.  Yeah, I could get down there with him and get him giggling by “playing” with him and his blanket. But would that be better, would I be “teaching” him more by stroking the blanket over him so he can start feeling his body. Or will he gain more by observing and experimenting on his own.

The answer is both. Both are the correct choice. And I need to remember that. I am home with my son all day, we play together, giggle, and learn and then sometimes I put him in his bouncy chair and let him be entertained by his floor mobile, or a spatula or even (cue tragic music) a video. And my son is fine, he’s thriving in fact! He’s hitting all of his developmental markers, he’s a generally happy baby even though we do have some colic battles.

How did I forget this. As I teacher I know this. You can not always be teaching, student shave lessons they need to learn on their own. But as a teacher your job, your hope, is that on the mat you have given them the tools to facilitate their own learning when they are not on their mat. So shouldn't i be doing the same with a baby?

I write in metaphors a lot, it  helps me sort things out and relay what I’m trying to say. So for me I often think yoga, the practice of asana that is, as the biggest metaphor for life. That while I’m practicing and while I’m teaching that yoga is mimicking life. The challenges, the boring bits, the moments of elation are all the same emotions as in real life. I used to know this more deeply, I used to live it and I’m going to start doing that again. I'm going to do use it on the mat and as a mother. Right after I go giggle on the floor with my son.