Sutra Friday: a yogi looks at violence and sees her life.

II-35 Aminsa Pratisthayam Tat Samnidhau Vaira Tyagah: In the presence of one firmly established in non-violence all hostilities cease.

One might think that being a yogi would make the practice of non-violence fairly easy, well that would be wrong. Oh so very wrong. In order to elaborate on this wrongness I’ll start with the word ahimsa. The root himsa means ‘injustice’ or ‘cruelty’ so by the addition of a that would suggest the opposite of injustice and cruelty, so already delving far beyond the depths of simple violence. By abstaining (which the yamas, the first step on the 8 limbed path of yoga, are all practices of abstinence) from these qualities a yogi tries to counter them by cultivating traits of kindness and consideration and even friendliness.

For me this yama really brought to light not just the ways in which I have violence in my life but more the way I practice all yoga in my life. But first the ahimsa stuff, which goes far beyond on day one when I looked up to see a mosquito (yep, a mosquito in November) on my window and out of pure reflex squashed him. Not very cruelty free. And that’s just the outward violence the place where I noticed the largest amount of violence was internally. Literally, the things I put into my body as well as the way I treat my body. When I think about the things that can harm a body internally like alcohol, overly processed food, sugar then I have some major work to do. I work part-time in environments that are crawling with sweets and good wine and not having the best will power in the world I tend to indulge a little. Especially now with the winter sunset of 4:30 in the afternoon my SAD (seasonal affective disorder) really works me into a funk, so often I self medicate, or rather anesthetize, myself in the evenings and wind up in bed by 8 o’clock. Not the nicest thing I could be doing to my body, in fact a very harmful thing to be doing. So how do I change this, this is where I stopped seeing this week’s sutra practice as an individual practice and a great introspective to my entire yoga practice.

When you get down to it it’s is a sort of half full half empty thing, people are usually one or the other. For some the idea of practice abstaining or doing without works and they can start to trim away the unwanted behaviors, sort of a spiritual, diet. For me that doesn’t work, the best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t, I don’t work well with restrictions. So instead I think of adding instead of eliminating. I think ‘I want to add these behaviors to myself’ and the result of this addition is a decrease in the opposite behaviors. For instance instead of telling myself; no more wheat and refined sugars, I say; I really want more rice and yummy fruit sugar in my life, so by adding these more ahimsa types of foods there is less room for the himsa type foods. That’s it. That’s my practice, my yoga, my life.

I don’t want to be keeping things out, I want to be gathering in; always growing, always learning, always experiencing. By bringing in the positive attributes of life I crowed out the negative; if my heart if full of compassion I have no room for jealousy, if my mind is full of kindness I have no room for judgment, if my body is full of nutrients and flexibility I have no room for disease and pain. Two thousand pounds of poo and two thousand pounds of gold both weight a ton, but which would you rather spread around your life.

a musical post for a cold rainy day.

Ok Yogi's after some online research I have decided that I am not able to post this entry the way I would like to, either because it is not possible or that I am not internet savvy enough to figure it out. So if you will bear with me, might I present to you: There Will Be Sun; a one hour play list for day’s you feel you will never be warm again.

1. Nya Sky: DJ Drez

2. Life is Beautiful: Amy Correia

3. I Was Made For Sunny Days: The Weepies

4. Blessings: The Dum Dum Project

5. Girl That Does Yoga: Damien Rice

6. My Sweet Lord: George Harrison

7. A Sunday Smile: Beirut

8. O-O-O Child: Nina Simone (Nickodemus Remix)

9. Bhakti Boombox: MC Yogi

10. Three Little Birds: Bob Marley

11. Devi “Rave”: Krishna Das

12. Sun Dance: John De Kadt

13. Gayatri Mantra: Deva Premal

(I was hoping to have these as links to the songs or better yet a playlist you could play while reading, but that proved beyond my blogging skill level)

So why a playlist today in all simplicity because it’s a yucky day here in my tiny town and all the motivation I had last night for projects I was going to do today is about as soggy as the leaves I haven’t racked yet. All I could think today while staring at my scraps of fabric and freshly clean craft/yoga room was “man, I need a pick me up.” So I made one and now I’m blogging about it.

I actually love making new yoga play list, I love pondering the intention of a class and rummaging through my digital milk crates (child of mix tape generation) and finding the right songs to fit. It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when yoga teachers just throw on any old cd or hit random on their mp3 players because I am a strong believe in the power of music. I feel like music can elevate, it can motivate, it can evoke and sooth so to be in a really great flow and then the music takes a crash into moody or worse sad tunes it kind of bums you out. Or the opposite when you’re in a very introspective class and suddenly there’s dance beats or chipper guitars strumming along. Granted yoga is fluid and the class you think you’ll be teaching often takes a turn so having “appropriate” music can be tricky. But today I made a go at it, below I’ve given a little blur about each song on the list and why I chose it maybe you can have better luck finding them in the cyber world…

1. Nya Sky. I love DJ Drez! I’ve met him at a few yoga conferences and be honored to have him spin live in some of the workshops I took. I chose this track because it is a little funky and engaging but not to strong as you warm up for some sun salutes.

2. Life is Beautiful. Hopefully this sweet track will make you smile as you start to move your body and help you affirm how great things are!

3. I Was Made For Sunny Days: this song keep the beat hopping while those sun salutes get alittle quicker and more heat building, and lets face it some of us just aren’t winter people, we were made for warmer climates (or were born in Alabama!)

4. Blessings. A little instrumental ditty as you start to get more focus in class and maybe start attempting more difficult asanas. But still groovy and keeping the energy up

5. Girl That Does Yoga: I love this song, it makes me smile and talks about orange trees is there a better fruit to remind you of warm climates and coastal breezes when it’s down right cold out.

6. My Sweet Lord: Shout of some happy for your lord, Krishna or so other named because we’ll be praying for 5 months (give or take) to them for a break in the snow and to please please please bring spring anytime now.

7. A Sunday Smile: remember strolling around on Sunday afternoons in the park barefoot? That’s what this song makes me think of and that makes me smile.

8. O-O-O Child: This song kind of speaks for itself but with a new beat to grove your asana to.

9. Here Comes the Sun: the sun will come back, it will and you will wear flip flops again one day. The Beatles promise.

10. Bhakti Boombox: I challenge anyone, yogi or not, to listen to an MC Yogi song and not be entertained on some level. I triple dog dear you.

11. 3 Little Birds: I like to think of Bob Marley as anti-anger music. I cannot stay mad when I’m listening to him. And if that doesn’t work than close you eyes and pretend your on a beach. And if that doesn’t work…well Marley has some other suggestions which I will not publicly condone.

12. Devi “Rave”. It took me a little while to get into Krishna Das, he just seemed ‘too much” for me. But sometimes I just want good music to yoga to that doesn’t sound all sacred. Let go and let flow with this one.

13. Sun Dance: Starting to bring it down now, a little instrumental song to help release any tension left over from your practice.

14. Gayatri Mantra: sit back in your Savasana and listen to one of the most sacred mantras known, giving thanks for the life giving light of the sun and the divine.

Namaste yogis and rock on!

"All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up."
~Rainer Maria Rilke

Sutra Friday, Truthfulness.

Sutra II-36: To one established in truthfulness, actions and their results become subservient.

7 days living in truth, how did I do. Well not great and also not terrible. I think the best way to examine truthfulness is to examine what keeps us from truthfulness; telling the truth, not lying. Well it took about 2 days into the week of living this sutra to know my answer; ego! Yep, simple as that, my big ol’ ego keeps me spinning exaggerations of the truth so that I can avoid that most dreaded emotion: embarrassment. Ego and embarrassment, maybe it’s the letter E that’s out get me. Hmmm, excuses much? Another E!

Ok all silliness aside being truthful is very important to any yogic path. Why? Because living in truth means you are living with integrity. For me the hardest time to keep my integrity was when I was in the wrong, even about little things. It was so easy for me to bend the actual facts or stretch them just enough so that no one would know I was at fault, “instead of saying, hey I mis-scheduled I’m really sorry but I can’t keep our appointment.” I spun a version of the truth that got me out of trouble but really actually put someone else in a bind, and boy does that work on you. You tell a simple lie to make yourself feel better only to feel even worse; a classic definition of a loose loose situation. And really, who hasn’t doubled booked themselves, I’m sure the person would have understood and don’t I as a yoga teacher tell my students over and over that “when we fall is when we learn.” So I am literally keeping myself from learning a lesson!

Very often for me these little “mind slips” that lead to my ego saving untruthfulness come up around work, I do a lot of odd jobs. I’m trying to figure out what my next sort of full-ish time job will be that allows me to keep the studio running and enough time off to have a life. But the problem is I’ve taken on to many things, I over book myself, I don’t allow time for me to nurture my own needs. This is where the bigger version of truthfulness comes in, being truthful with yourself. I am just now admitting to myself that I have gone from over working myself with 1 full time and 1 part time job plus running the studio, to working 3 part time jobs. I’m not sure how this situation came about but after this week of immersion into sutra II-36 I know it is because I was not being honest with myself. I’ve become a little more fragile of the years and I need to really make tome for my yoga practice and meditation but I was functioning under the disillusionment that I still have the energy and, frankly, bull headedness that I did when I was 19. When what I really need to do is admit to myself and the people I have wrongfully committed to that I can’t do it all, I need to scale back my obligations to others and for a while cultivate myself. That is a decision made form a place of integrity and honesty and that is the way to please all those around me.

So what does Patanjali mean by "actions and their results become subservient"? Well for me after this week what I think it means is that as long as you are acting from truth than no matter what the outcome will be good. Will it be pleasant, maybe not, or what your want, not always but it will the the "right" thing. You may even find that when you don't have to question your own decisions that situations just sort of unfold without you having to worry about them. It's like being on a roller coaster of honesty, once you start the ride it just goes and when you really let go even the parts that seemed scary turn out to be kind of fun, entertaining non the less.

Next week: Sutra II-35, non-violence.

A Yogi Flies to New York

Ok, really want to test your yoga-ness? Travel. Seriously, between the ridiculous fares, baggage fees (don’t get me started…) overpriced refreshments and all around feeling like cattle or sardines or some other animal forced into tiny enclosed areas among high numbers of its fellow creature-kind. And that’s the little stuff.

For me travel presents two major challenges to my yogi lifestyle; one: the weather delay/canceled flight, two: my fear of death.

So number one: weather. There’s nothing to be done of it! nope, no matter how hard we wish, hope and pray the weather is out of our hands. So you’re flying to New York to see your brother in his first ever Broadway show, ever?! Great, how about a historical snow storm, one the likes New York hasn’t seen in over a hundred years? And if that wasn’t enough to ruin your day, your airline insist that they will get out tonight, even though they closed JFK, let me repeat” CLOSED JFK!, they stand by that they will get out tonight. So your flight time, 12:20pm goes by, then, 1 o’clock, then 2:30, then 3:30, then 5:00 before you give and throw in the towel. Or worse! You stick it out, board the plane at 8pm take off and make it 45 minutes out before LaGaurdia sends word tat it’s too bad to land and your flight gets sent back to Cincinnati and you wind up sleeping on the airport. (for the record, I did not sleep in the airport, I bailed at 5, but read on please…)

Now this is a situation that would test even the most balanced individual and in my past would have sent me into such a rage, a rage I was so embarrassed to display that I would be in tears and there by rendered unfit to find the best outcome for the situation. But luckily, now I have yoga in my life I’m able to keep the adult tantrum at bay and look around and just observe my situation. I look next to me and see my traveling companion; this person that I asked to accompany me on a vacation because I love them and I want to spend some time together. And here we are spending time together, keeping each other amused and laughing when life throws curve balls (or in this case, snow balls). I look around me a little more observing the pushy New Yorkers feeling put upon because they can’t get back home, or the pity partiers who spin their sob stories like they could make the weather feel sorry and change and then notice the counter agent and her calm demeanor as she deals with such people. You can instantly tell she is moving from a place of integrity, I listen as she calmly tells the people at the desk how the delays will continue but that she spoke to the pilot and he feels uncertain and all the while the airline is standing by the flight so she can not officially tell you there’s no chance, but she herself thinks the chances are slim to none. So I observed my situation in the present; past the gate and the terminal and the airport (and technically the state, because the Cincinnati airport is actually located in Kentucky), and I have relatives in Cincinnati, really nice ones too. So after observing the situation and talking with my traveling companion we decided switching to an early morning flight was best and to call my aunt and uncle that live in town and ask if we could stay with them overnight. And they were thrilled; I have a big family so we don’t get to see each other much, so the thought of having a surprise visit isn’t seen as an inconvenience but a gift. And to make it even better it was my aunt’s birthday. So yes, it was a bummer that I missed a whole day with my brother but in return I was safe, warm, got to see some sweet relative, had an awesome home cooked meal, and slept in a comfortable bed after a hot shower.

I know not all travel rearrangements work out this well but I do think that a little shift in perspective can go a long way to making things easy. And when you are responsible for your own actions sometimes the universes gives you a little something in return.

So problem number 2: fear of death. To this I have no fantastic realization. I have no idea when my fear of flying took hold of me so strongly or why. But every time that plane takes off my head fills with dread. My over active imagination plays a hundred deadly scenarios in a quarter of a second and I am reduced to weeping sadly until the adrenaline stops coursing so fiercely through my blood and I can relax. That’s what happens nearly ever take off of every flight, and it happened on this trip too. As I pulled my head from between my knees, wiping tears from my eyes I smiled weakly at my traveling companion, “ I need to meditate more.”

Fear is a head game, it’s there because there is something to be learned, a breakthrough waiting to happen. But fear is big it feels as uncontrollable as the weather but even if I never get a hold of it I know that if I stick with my practice I can change my perspective. I can see my fear for what it is, a wild raging out of context storm wreaking havoc on my mind and there may be nothing I can do about it but I can at least look around it and see the calm waiting on the other side.

What is the city but the people? ~William Shakespeare