Sutra Friday, Truthfulness.

Sutra II-36: To one established in truthfulness, actions and their results become subservient.

7 days living in truth, how did I do. Well not great and also not terrible. I think the best way to examine truthfulness is to examine what keeps us from truthfulness; telling the truth, not lying. Well it took about 2 days into the week of living this sutra to know my answer; ego! Yep, simple as that, my big ol’ ego keeps me spinning exaggerations of the truth so that I can avoid that most dreaded emotion: embarrassment. Ego and embarrassment, maybe it’s the letter E that’s out get me. Hmmm, excuses much? Another E!

Ok all silliness aside being truthful is very important to any yogic path. Why? Because living in truth means you are living with integrity. For me the hardest time to keep my integrity was when I was in the wrong, even about little things. It was so easy for me to bend the actual facts or stretch them just enough so that no one would know I was at fault, “instead of saying, hey I mis-scheduled I’m really sorry but I can’t keep our appointment.” I spun a version of the truth that got me out of trouble but really actually put someone else in a bind, and boy does that work on you. You tell a simple lie to make yourself feel better only to feel even worse; a classic definition of a loose loose situation. And really, who hasn’t doubled booked themselves, I’m sure the person would have understood and don’t I as a yoga teacher tell my students over and over that “when we fall is when we learn.” So I am literally keeping myself from learning a lesson!

Very often for me these little “mind slips” that lead to my ego saving untruthfulness come up around work, I do a lot of odd jobs. I’m trying to figure out what my next sort of full-ish time job will be that allows me to keep the studio running and enough time off to have a life. But the problem is I’ve taken on to many things, I over book myself, I don’t allow time for me to nurture my own needs. This is where the bigger version of truthfulness comes in, being truthful with yourself. I am just now admitting to myself that I have gone from over working myself with 1 full time and 1 part time job plus running the studio, to working 3 part time jobs. I’m not sure how this situation came about but after this week of immersion into sutra II-36 I know it is because I was not being honest with myself. I’ve become a little more fragile of the years and I need to really make tome for my yoga practice and meditation but I was functioning under the disillusionment that I still have the energy and, frankly, bull headedness that I did when I was 19. When what I really need to do is admit to myself and the people I have wrongfully committed to that I can’t do it all, I need to scale back my obligations to others and for a while cultivate myself. That is a decision made form a place of integrity and honesty and that is the way to please all those around me.

So what does Patanjali mean by "actions and their results become subservient"? Well for me after this week what I think it means is that as long as you are acting from truth than no matter what the outcome will be good. Will it be pleasant, maybe not, or what your want, not always but it will the the "right" thing. You may even find that when you don't have to question your own decisions that situations just sort of unfold without you having to worry about them. It's like being on a roller coaster of honesty, once you start the ride it just goes and when you really let go even the parts that seemed scary turn out to be kind of fun, entertaining non the less.

Next week: Sutra II-35, non-violence.