5 Things I Don't Like

As a teacher and advocate of yoga every once and a while I get this unsolicited remark when I mention being a yoga teacher or just that I do yoga, “Yeah, I don’t really like yoga.” More blunt than the flat end of a meat tenderizer. My usual response is something non-committal, feverishly dancing around and suppressing the numerous sharp tongued responses that leap to mind quicker than Jack be nimble in his fanciful display of Hanumanasana over a candlestick. So instead of getting all yogi-rific on the ignorant, I mean the INNOCENT, non yogis here is my official response:

5 things I do that I don’t really like.

1. Jog. Ok so I don’t jog daily or even weekly but I do know how good it is for me so I am adamantly working on building a running practice. Of course I do yoga as my main exercise and of course I believe that it is the best thing you can do for your body and that a vigorous vinyasa class is not only great for muscle health and tone but a super cardio workout. However, I also know that I’m not the kind of person to push myself through such a practice on my own and given my tiny town location there’s not much else to offer in the way of yoga except for, well me. So I jog. I’m working up to 3-4times a week for about 15-30mins a day which is quite a challenge but for cardio and over all keeping calories in check running is the best thing out there. So do I like running/jogging? Not really but it’s good for me and I do because I like me.

2. Eat bananas. I don’t like bananas, I never have, they are weird and they have a strange texture and the moment you put them in any dish the whole dish taste only of bananas! BUT, they are very good for you and as far as easily transported fruit, they’re hard to beat. So a few years ago I put on my big girl fruit loving pants and starting eating bananas and I’ve come to appreciate them as a healthy and more importantly a filling snack. Bananas, not just for teething babies any more.

3. NOT eat peanuts. Ok this is really something that I love but don’t do (or don’t do as much b/c it’s not as good for me). Lately I’ve been studying Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga, so of course I start using my most available if not most willing guinea pig, myself. Without getting into the whole break down of Ayruveda let me just say this that according to this ancient science I am not supposed to eat peanuts. So I have turned to other nuts for my protein packed snacks and tried other nut butters for my occasional sandwich. Le sigh.

4. My taxes. You know, I’m just going to leave this one as is because who doesn’t hate doing their taxes but on some level understand the logistics of is all. Bummer, but we do it. 

5. Take antidepressants. Yep I take antidepressants. And you know what, I’m not ashamed at all. I thought I would be I thought I’d be seen as a sham as a yoga teacher who can’t yoga herself well. But in fact that was my disease talking, that was my unhealthy brain telling me not to fix myself because I wasn’t worth fixing! Do I like being on pharmaceuticals? No, not really, I like feeling like me again, I like not having thoughts that are wildly beyond my control but of course I’d rather be able to have my body produce the hormones that cause that all on its own. Plus, it’s like my amazing doctor told me, he basically said ‘look you’re a healthy, holistic young woman, you do yoga, you know how to fix yourself but what I’m seeing is that you can’t get yourself to use the tools you have laid before you, because you are sick.’ And I was sick and I am sick but just like he said, I know that I already have all the tools I need to make myself better. And one more day doing the things I may not like but are good for me, one more day on the mat and I’m one step closer to being med free. One step closer to finding that peaceful contentedness that yoga is all about.