There are times when we feel depleted; spread too thin, emotionally over taxed, or tested once too often. It can feel like you’ve exhaled all of your air but cannot breathe in. so what to do in times like these, how do we pull ourselves up when we have no reserve left? This is the question I’ve been struggling with for a time now and I still don’t have an answer but today I had a thought. Surrender. I’ve been running around trying to find a way to “fix” myself and all the things and situations around me and nothing worked. Fighting fire with fire, or exhaustion with more work and I didn’t even realize how useless it was and how I had created a tornado, spiraling in on itself and sucking up all my joy. So today when the threat of rain cancelled all my “get happy” plans I decided just to give up. I drove to the lake with my dog rain or now rain to sit by the water and feel a little nature. While i was driving I used the time to test out a new yoga mix I was building for class. While I was driving listening to George Harrison sing “My Sweet Lord” and the chorus behind him sing salutations in Sanskrit to the deities the sun came out and for a moment my tired soul lifted. In my heart I thought “ok, I’m just going to surrender now and trust that something out there has a better idea of what is supposed to happen.” It was a moment of freedom. I can’t fight anymore, people will think what they want, injuries will happen, friends will come and go and the only thing I can do is trust. Trust that for whatever reason someone may have for something that is their truth, if I try to change them it will most likely just lead to more conflict. I can’t magically heal my shoulder so I will have compassion while I practice and trust that I will heal and maybe even learn something new about my body. And friends, I can’t hold on to expectations whatever is going on in their lives is their own and I have to trust that they do love me and will make time for me when they can. Though my moment of freedom in the car was not long lived I do feel, even at the bottom of this well, that I will feel free again and my joy will return. And that’s the gift yoga has given me today, the freedom to not have and answer but to believe and feel certain one will come.