Sacred 5

Today I practiced yoga like I was 5 and it was awesome! Yoga, I find, more often than not gets taken WAY to seriously. I make sure in my classes that I try to keep the atmosphere light for my students. I’ll crack a joke now and then, mostly I just stumble over my words and every now and again I’ll fall on my face (on purpose or not). I try to make sure everyone has at least one smile in class but lately I have forgotten to make myself smile. Winter reared its bitter cold head again and threatened to extinguish that flickering hope of spring warmth and I took this very seriously. So seriously I found myself tearing through Vinyasa style sequences trying to build enough heat to distract myself from my anger at the season. And really, who am I kidding? Anger at the weather, that’s like screaming at telephone poles. But I was completely ignorant of my behavior, in fact I didn’t consciously know what I was doing or how badly I was treating my practice until I was teaching a class earlier this week. Like most realizations I have it was born of a question a student posed to me. I found myself telling the class about approaching inversions like a 5 year old would, fearless and without embarrassment. While as I was talking I felt myself falling backwards through years of my life. How many times have I had a conversation about being childlike, or rather maintaining childlike wonder? In a world that places emphasis on the sophisticated I often find myself defending my simplicity. Watching a fuzzy caterpillar inch along a blade of grass, or seeing my dog get so excited she hops like a bunny, or picking fresh raspberries off the vine for breakfast provides as much joy and stimulation as any sophisticate would find in a symphony or the opera. And you know what; I am so OK with that. The same way I’m just as happy admiring my niece’s scribbles as I am my favorite artist, Vincent Van Gogh’s, prints. So for as near and dear as this concept of childlike wonder is to me I was stunned to see how far away from living that concept I have gotten. So today I got it back! I was on my mat and a little soar from my trapeze class last night so I was taking it kind of slow, then as my body warmed I thought “I want to practice this asana,” so I did. Then I wanted to do another asana, so I did that one and I found myself moving freely and creatively, like I was tangoing with my imagination. Or better yet like my inner child was standing my shoes tangoing with me! And we danced and we had a great time and we laughed after nearly face planting out of balancing asana. And for the rest of the day I’ve felt the tug of a 5 year old bursting to show me the next coolest thing ever because really this life, this practice is the coolest thing ever my inner adult just got a little distracted.

Podcast Life of a Yogi

I am podcaster, I listen to many different types of shows via download: talk radio, news, science, life and yes yoga! So I’m not surprised that podcasts have entered into my spiritual practice; I’m just a little surprise at the marriage of two seemingly unrelated podcasts which have yielded a handy trick to overcoming hurdles along my spiritual journey. Its goes like this:

When we meditate one tool we use is when thoughts come up we acknowledge them and release them. This is MUCH easier said than done. But this is a tool I’ve taken out of my meditation practice and into my life. I was thinking about all the things I think about which lead me to…well nothing. Mulling problems over that the solutions is far in the distance, or letting my mind wander to things I want that I don’t actually need or worse distract me from my journey. As I was thinking about my thinking I thought (phew) I spend a lot of time focused on things that do not serve me. How much more room in my brain would I have if I stopped thinking about those things? Well, quite a bit! And this is where the first podcast comes in, it called Radiolab, http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/, and I can’t even remember the episode but one host, Robert Krulwich, was trying to prove the point to the other host, Jad Abumrad, that if I tell you NOT to think of something then that is ALL you will be able to think about. So Robert says, “no matter what you do don’t think about…” after a beat he ask what Jad thought about and he replied “platypus.” Ok he didn’t actually reply “platypus” but for some reason that’s what my brain inserted when recalling this bit of dialogue and then Jad tells a brief story about hearing a story as a kid that was so bizarre that when ever he emptied his mind that story jumped up into it. In turn I thought ok, well platypuses (platypi?) are very funny animals and what better to do then leave an unwanted thought than for a silly one, after all laughter is just as sacred as prayer (too me anyway). So when ever I found my mind drifting I would replace the unwanted thought with a platypus and I would smile. Even when I’m frustrated and thinking or muttering platypus over and over again eventually I will laugh because, come one “platypus, platypus, platypus” yelled in anger, it’s just funny! So on I went platypussing (spell check is mad a that word) along and feeling alright. But also feeling like I was cheating, sort of just putting a band-aid over the problem not really healing it.

Enter podcast number 2:
This podcast is an actual meditation podcast, Learn To Meditate appropriately enough. Each episode starts with a little story, a kind of set up, then the actual meditation. I was listening to the set up of a meditation entitled “the path of the heart” which oddly enough began with a comparison of our spiritual journeys to the Star Wars movies. He was explaining that before beginning meditation we need to be aware of our general state of mind. Are we pulling energy from the Dark Side (where there is anger, ego and Vader!) or from the Light side (where there is peace, enlightenment and Yoda!) The instructor was saying that when you have thoughts form the “dark side” you should replace them with thoughts from the “light side.” And that thought could be anything, a beautiful sunset, the face of some one you love and or maybe I thought “a platypus!” HA! Validation, my platypus technique was not something I just made up, it’s an actual technique; dare I say the Jedi Technique! The host went on to say that the act of releasing negative energy from our daily minds trains our brains to let them go more easily in our mediation practice. So not only was it not a made up tool but one that will actually help me in my meditation practice.

So being a podcast geek has proven even more valuable to my spiritual practice than I thought possible. Thanks to the guys at Radiolab, Jab Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, and the Learn to Meditate podcast for helping me out along the way. I take assurance that no matter how stuck I get in my journey my platypus now carries a light saber!

Compassion, really.

I decided to teach compassion as the theme for the month of February. The great thing about being a teacher is you learn so much. Of course you learn from books and other teachers in order to prep your classes and dharma talks. But even better you learn from your students. Whether it’s by seeing them have a realization and inspiring you or by having them challenge you. It’s the challenges that really drive home the practice of compassion. “Why do I have to explain myself to you, you’re not enlightened?” and neither am I. But sometimes I find myself apathetic to people who don’t “get it.” And that’s no good. I have to remind myself that we are all divine no matter if we have touched on that divinity yet or not. That’s what Namaste means in fact; my preferred translation is: the light in my bows to the light in you. Or the divine in me recognizes the divine in you. If we really believe in Namaste than compassion should be second nature. But that’s where the bigger problem is. I train myself to have compassion for others, I can breathe slow, keep my mouth shut, try earnestly to see things form someone else’s point of view. The harder challenge is having compassion for me. I am my harshest judge, “what on earth made me think I could teach yoga, did I really think I’d be able to meditate for hours a day?” Any frustration I’ve felt of other is no comparison to what I’ve felt in my own practice. But I’m learning. By respecting and accepting others for exactly who they are little pieces of that respect and acceptance bleed into me. We are all divine and we all deserve compassion.

If you want to be happy for others
Practice compassion
If you want to be happy yourself
Practice compassion
-Buddhist Teaching

Painting without a net...or a latter.

In preparation for the Open House this weekend I’ve been “sprucing up” the studio; trying to breathe a little bit of my own style into the space. So today was dedicated to the studio, there where big plans, big plans I tell you but the paint had its own ideas. I always seem to forget just how many coats those rich pigmented colors take. So today was spent painting. But the more I connect my yoga practice to my life off the mat the happier I am doing these simple repetitive actions. First of all I’m short and secondly I for some reason decided I could paint the studio without the use of a latter; instead relying on a good chair and my keen sense of balance. And I could just reach the meeting of wall and ceiling if I was on the chair on my tip toes with full arm extension. So on I went ignoring that nagging sensation that I should have maybe, possibly bought painters tape. Nope I would balance and free hand it. So there I was edging in by hand leaning far to the left and working right when I noticed exactly how much was going on in my body. My mind was intensely focused on the brush and the ceiling but my body was actually dancing. I felt my arm locked into place as my wrist subtly adjusted the brush for maximum paint distribution. My legs held firm and shifting through my hips and outer gluts while my toes (my toes!!!) rose and fell in accordance to how high my arm needed to be. All of theses things where happening without my mind having to “tell” my body this, consciously at least.

How does this relate to yoga? Well, the symphonies of our body play on. They will make music without “us” our mind ever calling out a note. But what will that music be? Will it be in tune or will there be disharmony as the music marches onward. What blew me away in that moment of yogic realization was not that my body was playing this music with out me but that it was in tune! My alignment was correct, my shoulders where relaxed, my knees where soft, my weight was supported as it shifted over my midline. My body was, for a moment, an aria. Two things never would have happened in that moment if yoga had never entered my life; 1. I never would have been able to pull of such a balancing act without doing harm to myself and 2. I never would have even noticed. Yoga is not about achieving the pinnacle pose/asana, which thank goodness because as the walls will attest there are numerous mistakes, it’s about the effort. The effort is the practice. Painting those walls, giving a little of my sweat equity into that space…well that’s the point. I’m just lucky enough because of my practice to be aware enough to enjoy the work it takes and revel in the knowledge that I’m sending a whole lot of love and attention out there to the universe.