Ask any yoga teacher why they teach yoga and I bet you the
answer is not, “for the money.” However being a yoga teacher you are providing
a service, you are proving knowledge in a safe and comfortable environment and
therefore you are not wrong to ask for an exchange; whether it is money, trade,
or even fresh veggies and farm eggs, of which I personally and gladly accept as
payment!
But lately I’ve been struggling with this concept of “getting
paid” for yoga. Just like I did when I began my training as a massage
therapist. For me being a nurturer is simply a part of who I am, I really do
want to help everyone feel better, safer and more comfortable in the world and
in themselves. My massage instructor put it like this, “It is an exchange of
energy. You are giving energy to a person and you have the right to receive energy
in return. You can decide what and how to receive that energy.” So what is enough? A hug? Ten dollars? Sixty? The
piece of mind knowing you helped someone in need? And right now I have come to
the uncomfortable conclusion that I no longer know. I can no longer feel what feels
right about accepting energy for my teaching. I don’t want it to be money but I
have bills to pay.
I am a “modern yogi.” I don’t live at an ashram or in a
mountain cave, I live in the world. I have rent to pay, groceries to buy, heat
and water bills. So when life in the real world gets hard I start to fret about
things like dwindling class sizes and the value of time and no shows. When my
mind goes there my yoga stops being about teaching and the exchange of energy
and it becomes a job. And that is exactly what I do not want my yoga to be.
So now what? Can I, self proclaimed, queen of happy mediums
find a comfortable compromise? Am I willing to fall back into the hustle of
self promotion and studio advertising? That all seems very businesslike to me and
exhausting. In fact last year I burned out completely doing all that and
stopped teaching for a while. Maybe I started back too soon, maybe I started
back the wrong way. Operating in a pattern already proved wrong.
So I’m reevaluating and shifting my perspective. When I opened
my studio years ago it was a place dedicated to building Community and for a
while it was amazing! A place where people of my tiny town came together, where
we shared and celebrated each others gifts and talents and it truly was a
beautiful exchange of energy. I think now is the time to get back to that.
Actually, I know it is and that means making some changes. Some terrifying and
some exciting but it is time. Community is my home.
Recently, while crying in a friends arm chair, he told me
that he looks to me for inspiration. He said that he is learning as part of his
own journey how important Community is and that I was his example of how that
can be created. I was flattered but could not see through myself doubt enough
to believe him. Now I can see it. Being a yoga teacher is not my job; my job is
to build a Community with yoga as the center piece, the glue that holds people
in need of a healthy energy exchange together.
And that, I can do.
